


Heart by Heart

by SmoakandRoses



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Adoption, Alternate Universe, Family Feels, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-09 17:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8905648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmoakandRoses/pseuds/SmoakandRoses
Summary: Felicity Smoak doesn’t expect much of life. She never had much. Never had much food on the fridge, much warmness on wherever she was staying at the moment, much love from anyone.So you can’t blame her for how surprised she is when she meets the Lances and suddenly has all this love. Love like that can’t be real. And if it is, it can’t last. Teen Years/Adoption AU





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Thicker than Water](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5831677) by [taxingtaurus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taxingtaurus/pseuds/taxingtaurus). 



**Prologue**

  

“ _Somewhere perfection lies – but not for you and I – everybody slips sometimes.”_

### Everybody Breaks a Glass- Lights

 

>  

 

            Detective Quentin Lance doesn’t understand much of technology. If it was up to him his cellphone main function would still be making calls and his news would still be read in a newspaper made of actual paper. But he does understand that a lot of young people nowadays do get it, and utilize it for their own benefits and crimes.

            So when he the IT department of SCPD tracked down a virus that was being used to transfer hundreds of thousands of dollars to a private account in the outskirts of Starling City he went to make the arrest.

            Quentin wasn’t surprised to find a sleeky teenager with too much of an attitude and a huge debt. He was however a little bit more surprised by the way too young teen with black and purple hair and piercings that didn’t match the vulnerability in her blue eyes crying as the boy was taken away.

            Cooper Seldon was 18 and claimed to have written the code all by himself to “help minimize the injustice of the social inequality”. For Quentin that was clearly just an excuse for him to steal money to pay whatever he owned and buy new flashy toys.

            The girl claimed to be an acquainted of the boy that was crashing at his apartment for the week. Nothing more. Right. She refused to give a name, age or any information. The detective didn’t need to receive any answer to understand that the girl was underage and trying to protect the undeserving boyfriend from statuary rape and god knows what else charges.

            Yet something about her drowns Lance in. Maybe it is the youthness in her that reminds him so much of his own younger daughter. Or maybe it is those blue eyes that clearly absorb so much, paying attention to every little detail, just like Laurel would. Or maybe it is the fear that the kid tries so hard to hide, but the little rubbing of her fingers, eventual trembling of her lip, and flicker of her oh so honest eyes let through.

            So he doesn’t push her for answers. At least not the ones he should be pushing for. The ones that will tell him about the virus and help define if she truly hadn’t nothing to do with it and hadn’t being stealing too. No, he asks her about where she lives, how old is she, where are her parents.

            When she doesn’t answer any of those, her asks if she is okay. That’s the first answer he gets.

            There is a new energy in her eyes once he asks that, as if the question makes her angry, or maybe confused, or is just too much. And for some reason all the Quentin wants to do is get the girl and help her get all that negativity out. Help her.

            He doesn’t however. He remembers himself that she is a suspect, and he has no reason to feel the way he is feeling. And after a few hours of not getting anything helpful out of her they have to let her go.

            As Lance escorts her out and prepares to go home and make dinner for his two daughters, he realizes that instead of transpiring relief or excitement, like most people do when they are being released, the girl only feels nervousness. He wonders if she has anywhere to go now that the place that she has been “crashing for the week” (right, Lance, it’s still not buying that either) it’s not exactly available anymore.

            “Hey, kiddo, if you need anything, just… You know where to find me.”

            He doesn’t know why he offers that really. He already had too much on his plate as it is with two daughters and a job as detective, and she is just another kid, like the ones he questions every day. And he doesn’t know if she even hears him as she just leaves, walking slowly and unsteady away, without turning back.

            So he follows with his life as if nothing ever happened. It was just another day at work, nothing unusual. The boy is convicted after two months. He admits to everything. Then he kills himself. Lance doesn’t allows himself to think of that much.

            When three months after that cold night the girl shows up at his parking spot, soaked, trembling and with so much fear and pain in those eyes, her realizes that maybe the event wasn’t so usual like that.

            “I’m not okay.” It’s all that takes for him to take her home.


	2. Young God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! So I failed to mention last chapter, but this story is inspired by another fanfic in this site, Thicker Than Water, by taxingtaurus (http://archiveofourown.org/works/5831677/chapters/13439506). I am new to this site and didn't know how to give the credits the right way, plus I wanted to able to talk with the author of the fanfic before, but haven’t been able to. I would like to apologize for that to everyone, but specially to taxingtaurus.  
> It's indeed inspired by that fanfic, and if you haven't read it yet, I definitely recommend you do, because it is an amazing fanfic that I love very much!  
> My fanfic has a similar beginning, inspired by Thicker Than Water, however it will follow a different path than taxingtaurus's fanfic.  
> Also, before you read this chapter I would like to make it clear that while the narrator is in third person, it reflects the thoughts and opinions of the character it is following, so it will make subjective affirmations that are not necessarily true.
> 
> Alright, here is the first official chapter of the story, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

**Chapter 1 – Young God**

 

> _“You wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you so tired the night before, and that, my love, is bravery.”_

            Fear is not a feeling unknown to Felicity. Felicity remembers being scared when she was little and her parents would get in those huge fights, screaming and throwing things at each other. She remembers being scared when her father would leave and take days, weeks, to come back (and when one day he left and just didn’t come back at all), or when her mother would spend days out and leave her alone. She records being scared when she would find her mother drunk, or worse, and her words wouldn’t make sense, nor would her actions.

            She remembers the felling of fear that would come along the felling of hunger when she just didn’t have what to eat and would have to figure her way out. It also came along the feeling of cold from when she wasn’t allowed to come home and be a disturbance to her mother so she had to spend the night out. 

            She remembers being afraid when she left home and the idea of being completely alone, not even her mother there anymore to remember her she still exists, overwhelming her, making her just wander around, unsure of what she was doing. She remembers that fear decreased a little when she met Cooper and he made sure she wasn’t by her own anymore.

            But then another fear came up. That he would leave her. She was fourteen then, he was sixteen. He was leaving on his own and well as it was, and she was just some girl he was willing to help. He was always so confident and she was just trying to disappear. He could do so much better than her, and she was lucky to have him.

            Yes, she was lucky to have him. Cooper helped her learn how to survive. Much like her, he too loved computers and hacking. Together they would wire money to their accounts, not much, just enough to live on. And they were good. They would make sure to never get caught.

            Every few months they would move cities. Not that anyone was looking for them. They had no parents to worry about and they made sure to fake their profiles in some high school in California. But it was important to make sure no one noticed them. Plus it was nice to get to know all this new towns.

            Starling City was their fifth city together. And after a year and half doing this, this life was starting to get boring. They were too good, too smart to just keep making this small hacks and spending their days doing nothing. So he suggested that they should create a virus, a super virus. One that would let them get into any place in the internet, and give them complete control.

            “Can you imagine what we could do, Lissie? We could expose frauds, defeat criminals! We would be unstoppable!”

            It didn’t match their plan of going unseen exactly. But after all it was just an idea. First they would make the virus, just to see if they could. Then they could worry about what to do or not with it.

            Well it turns out they could make the virus. Well, she could. Many times during the developing of it, it became clear how much more advanced Felicity’s capacity was in relation to Cooper’s, what wouldn’t make him happy. Cooper spent weeks in a bad mood, until the virus was ready and all of that didn’t seem to matter anymore. They had the world at their hands.

            But then Cooper had to go and wire all that money. Felicity had warned him not to, that the virus wasn’t completed yet. That they would track them down. She tried to disconnect their computer and thought that it was enough, that they were okay. They weren’t.

              Without Cooper there all of Felicity’s fears suddenly came back up with full force. She couldn’t bring herself to wire any more money to herself afraid that the cops that arrested Cooper were still observing her. She couldn’t stay at the apartment they were staying since she had told the police she was only crashing there for the week. She couldn’t sell anything to get money since the only thing of value she had was her computer and that had been taken by the police. She couldn’t do anything that would risk attracting attention and the police finding out she was a minor living with no adult supervision, nor could she get a job without attraction attention.

              So she was back at the point she was when she first left her house in Vegas. Alone, with no home, no money and idea of what to do.

            For the first couple months she just wandered around though the city, spending the nights in old abandoned buildings or shelters so far into the glades that not even the SCPD would risk passing by. It wasn’t the safest of options but it was the best way Felicity could think of not being found by the cops.

            Plus it was only a matter of time. Cooper’s trial was about to begin and he would find a way of getting out of jail. He had to.

            Except he didn’t. No Cooper, that damn idiot, took the blame for not only using but creating the virus and was convicted.

            She tried taking the blame for it, convincing Cooper to let her tell them she was the one who created the virus. Sure it would pretty much be her worse nightmare, not because she would end up at juvy, but because after juvy they would no doubt send her back to her mother, but she couldn’t let Cooper take the blame for something she did.

            But he told her not to. Said he had already took the blame for creating the virus. He was the one who used it the wrong way anyway, there was no point on the two of them going to jail. He loved her too much for that (and no, Felicity wouldn’t let her mind wander to the possibility that he was just too proud to admit he wasn’t capable of writing the virus himself, even when that would cost him his freedom)

            So he was convicted. And then the following night he killed himself.

            Felicity felt pain when her father left. Felt lost when her mother kicked her out. But to have Cooper not only taken for her, but then choosing to not live anymore? She felt pain, she felt lost, she felt devastated, and a million other feelings that would not yet describe the amount of hurt and guilt she felt.

            The month after that was a blur. The thoughts in her head were too loud to let her take in the outside world. It’s a small miracle that she even survived it taken in consideration the danger in the streets that she was aimlessly wandering through.

            Yet, even she felt surprised when she realized that in her numbness she ended up exactly where she was running from.

            Yes, the detective that interrogated her the night that Cooper was arrested seemed nice and offered her help if she ever needed, and God she needed help, but he was still a cop! What made her think that he wouldn’t just send her to her mother too?!

            Still she surprised herself once more when, against every reasoning and warning from her brain, her reaction upon seeing the detective was not running but instead letting him see through her.

            “I’m not okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

            “Get into the car, kid”

            To be fair, Detective Lance did his fair share of surprising Felicity that day too. His reaction to seeing the battered, smelly, smudged eyed teen was not to ask questions or take her into the precinct and find someone else to deal with that problem. No instead he took her home. His home! Her, a random girl he knew next to nothing about!

            The ride home was quiet and uncomfortable but not necessarily bad. It was clear to Felicity that detective Lance was trying, for some reason, make her comfortable. He put some calm music on and only spoke when to letting her know where they were going too, in a calm voice that was so clearly being used to not scare her off. Well it kind of worked, because when they arrived at the Lance’s residence Felicity didn’t ran off either.

            The Lance’s home was a house in one of Starling City’s most secure neighborhoods while not one incredible rich. It was big, but not too big, and surrounded by another family homes.

            Upon entering it Felicity quickly realized it was a well lived in home. The house was a little messy, as if Lance didn’t have much time to clean it, which he probably hadn’t, but tried to make it as tidy as possible. It had comfy blankets on the couch, coats on the chairs, whisky by the cabinet, shoes lined up by the door, and photos on the walls. It was nothing like anywhere that Felicity had ever lived on.

            Looking closer Felicity could see that most photos were of girls. Two girls more specifically, which Felicity assumed were Detective Lance’s daughters that she had no idea he had (Felicity didn’t knew if she should feel ashamed of herself for not even bothering doing a check up on who the hell was Detective Lance before she ran to him asking for help or glad that at least the fact that she was paying attention now hopefully meant that her mind and body were starting to reconnect).

            Lance apparently saw the amount of attention Felicity was giving to the pictures too.

            “Those are Sara and Laurel. My daughters. They are a couple years older than you are. Well, I’m assuming they are since I don’t know your age. Laurel is 20 and Sara just turned 18.”

            The pictures went from when they were little girls to one in Laurel’s graduation that seemed to be the newest one. Yet Felicity couldn’t see any pictures of his wife. She wondered what she would think when she saw the unknown teen at her home. What they would all think really.

            “Well, I don’t have a wife. Me and the girl’s mother got divorced a couple years ago. She is leaving in Central City now, so you don’t have to worry about being at her home. And the girls, well, the live here mostly, but don’t worry too much about them either. They are great girls.”

            Oh, she had said that aloud. Yep, apparently her mind and body where not quite there in the communication department yet. It would be nice if her brain let her know what was coming out of her mouth before she said it. Especially when it was pretty much the most she had ever said in front of the man.

            “It would help if I could present you to them with a name when they arrive however” the detective asked, clearly not wanting to push her too much but wanting some answers.

            Felicity knew it was a fair request. She was at his home after all, and he was just asking for a name and maybe some basic information right? Yet, Felicity knew better than anyone that you don’t need much information about someone to find out everything. Just give her a name and a computer she will prove that. So, yeah, the notion of sharing something as simple as name scared her.

            And even without knowing her much the detective could see that (he was good at his job after all) by the way the girl bit her lips and rubbed her fingers.

            “Is alright if you don’t want to answer that now” the detective concedes “Take your time”

            Yeah, that detective just won’t stop baffling her. Felicity doesn’t understands why he doesn’t push her. Maybe that’s what makes her answer.

            “Felicity” she says, barely above a whisper “My name is Felicity.”

            To today Quentin Lance can’t quite explain why get that simple answer out of the girl made him so proud, but it did.

            “Well, Felicity, why don’t we go make some dinner while we wait for the girls then.” He offered, hoping that it would make the girl feel more at easy, before remembering his culinary abilities “Actually, maybe it is a better idea if we order some food. I’m not the best cook.”

            “It’s alright. I’m not either” Felicity answers.

            So maybe it’s not the information that Quentin would first ask when taking someone to his home, but it something and Quentin will take it. After all he already brought Felicity home anyway. He will have to take her as she is and accept that. Accept and defend, because his daughters are arriving soon and he is not sure how they will react to having as stranger teenager in their living room.

            As for Felicity, well, for as scaring and crazy it all sounds, she can’t help but feel a little warmer then she has felt in three months in the presence of the detective. And it is almost summer so it might not be just the fact that she finally has walls around her. Maybe that is why she decided staying there, at least for dinner, was a fear worth conquering.


	3. Girl With No Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time, to meet Laurel and Sara! Also this chapter has the first flashback. We will get know more about Felicity’s past each chapter through those. I hope you enjoy it!

**Chapter 2 – Girl With No Name**

> _“Do you know what your problem is? You can't live with the idea that someone might leave.”_ _  
> __―_ John Green

To be fair you can’t really blame Sara and Laurel for being surprised when they got home and there was a goth on their couch. A tiny, teen goth.

            Sara Lance was the first one to arrive. To Lance’s relief. Lance couldn’t tell exactly how it would go with Sara, he hoped she would instantly understand and welcome their visitor, but believe she would probably not like it, but keep her complaining in a controlled level. Laurel however, well, Laurel he knew would throw a fit if just to rebel against him.

             Recently Sara was being the “good” child. Surprisingly. Growing up that was not the case. As children Sara was the firecracker that was always running around getting in fights, breaking bones, listening to what she shouldn’t be and never going to bed on time. Or paying any attention to class.

            Not Laurel. No, Laurel was the golden daughter with perfect grades and always polite. Sure she liked daring her parents, always contradicting them, but at least she would take the time to listen to them so she could talk back.

            Since her parents’ divorce however, Laurel had taken the whole talk back thing to another level. She would do everything the opposite of how Quentin asked her to, maybe just to get attention, maybe in hope that she would do so bad that her parents wouldn’t have a choice but talk to each other about it. Her mother moving to Central City didn’t help either. She blamed Quentin for her mother leaving and would make sure he knew that at any given chance. So now instead of focus on her studies and be the good daughter she spent her life being, she would spend most days and nights hanging out with Tommy Merlin and Oliver Queen, getting drunk, going to parties and driving Quentin crazy.

            Meanwhile, Sara, while had acted out during the divorce, had eventually settled and accepted her parents weren’t getting back together, and that they were better that way. Anything was better than all that fighting and drinking after all. She would still do her thing, date people that her father didn’t exactly love, stay out past the agreed time and get drunk on parties, but nothing out of her usual, so she was still winning.

            So when she arrived home that night and saw a stranger sitting on their couch she didn’t completely flip. Instead she figured that it was some kid that got in trouble but her parents were already on their way to pick her up. Unfortunately she wasn’t right.

            “Oh, hi!” Felicity heard, being taken out of her lost thoughts by a confused blond with an athletic body.

            “Sara!” Lance answered, running out from the kitchen were he had been ordering the food. “I just ordered some pizza. Don’t worry, I ordered that strange one with pineapple for you.”

            “Okay...” Sara waited one more moment to see if her dad really wasn’t going to introduce the stranger in the room. He didn’t. “So, who is that?”

            Looking at Lance, Sara could see he wasn’t sure of what to answer. That was her first clue that her first assumption wasn’t right.

            “Well, this… this is Felicity. She will be staying with us for a little while.”

            If Sara wasn’t so shocked by his answer she would have seen how shocked Felicity was herself. So Lance really was willing to let her stay and help her! He didn’t say “staying for dinner” or even “for the night”, he said “for a little while”. And sure, “a little while” wasn’t a promise of much, but is not like Felicity was looking for a new home. No, she just needed a little while to figure herself out and get back on feet. Then she could go off on her own again. “A little while” was way more than she ever expect anyway, even if she didn’t expect anything really. And possibly more than she would let herself stay regardless. She didn’t need anyone, just a little help and she would be good to go.

            The blond teenager however didn’t seem to share Felicity’s excitement about the statement, even if she shared the astonishment.

            “Staying here for a while?! And why exactly Felicity is staying her for a while?!”

            Just like that Felicity was reminded why she shouldn’t even be there at all. She had just thrown herself at this random family and was already being a problem for them. And of course she was a problem! Even her mother could see that, why did she ever thought it was alright to toss her trouble self at anyone else and mess with their life?!

            “Actually I am just staying for dinner. And then I’ll be out” Felicity promised, deciding that she never had the right to ask for anything at all, dinner was already great, and more than she deserved.

            “No you are not!” Lance immediately said, startling even himself “I mean, you can leave if want, but I would like if you stayed. And that is why she staying, Sara! Because I would like that.”

            Felicity couldn’t understand.  Why was that man being so nice to her? Why would he like if she stayed? He should want to get rid of her as fast as possible. He didn’t even know her. Everyone she knew left her, so why was this random guy fighting for her to stay?

            To have someone saying that they wanted her to stay was a strange feeling for Felicity. She couldn’t think of anyone wanting for her to stay before. It almost felt nice was it not for the fact that Felicity knew better than believing it, no matter how much she wanted to believe.

 

* * *

 

 

_Felicity was seven when her father left._

_She had come home from school and the day seemed like any other. Her father had just arrived the night before from yet another week away (“running again I bet. Either from the cops or from someone he owns money to” her mom had said) and had promised to help her with the robot she was making out of parts of random electronics she found in the house or in the street._

_They spend the afternoon working together until her mother arrived and her parents had their daily screaming match. She had then made herself some noodles to have for dinner while her mom and dad drunk their anger away._

_Except that night alcohol didn’t seem enough to make them forget the hate they felt towards each other and lead them into their passionate make ups. No, that night their fighting lasted until the point that Felicity couldn’t take it anymore. So she left and decided to spend the night at the dinner near their current apartment. To today Felicity wanders if anything would have been different if she hadn’t left._

_When she arrived home the following morning her mother was passed out on the mattress, stinking more of alcohol then the usual. Looking around, Felicity could see that most of her father’s things were missing. This however wasn’t unusual with how often he “travelled”, even if most times it took more than two days before he left again, so Felicity didn’t think much of it._

_It was only when Donna woke up that Felicity started to feel worried._

_“Listen to me, Felicity, people will only let you down. They promise to stay but they leave you at the first chance they get. They never really love you, it’s all just lies. Always just lies.”_

_For once her mother sounded sober and that scared Felicity more anything. For all the complaining that Donna Smoak makes of her huspand, she never gets that deep. This time it’s different._

_Felicity’s fear is proved real when the days pass and her father doesn’t come home. Nor does he come in week, or two, or a month, or a year._

_At first Felicity denies it._

_“He is coming home! You are wrong, he didn’t just leave!” she screams at her mother and at that little voice in her brain._

_Then she thinks the worst, because even that is easier than accept that her father just didn’t want her anymore._

_“We need to find him, mom! Something must have happened for him to be away for so long! He wouldn’t just leave!”_

_But somewhere deep down she knew that wasn’t truth. He was tired of her mother and he was tired of her and he left._

_“You left! You left me! Why did you leave me?!” she screamed at his memory when the house was empty, because he couldn’t even stay long enough for her to scream at him._

_Felicity was seven when her father left. She was seven when she learned that her mother was right: no one ever stayed. She was seven when she realized that she needed to learn how to fend on her own. She could count on people: they would only let her down._

* * *

 

            Sara didn’t expect her father to justify having a random teen at their house by sampling saying he would like so. She was about to protest that but something about the girl that seemed to be once more lost in her own thoughts made her stop. It was just a girl and just a while, right? She could live with that.

            “Alright. But I’m not sharing my room.” She conceded. It was an olive branch and her father could recognize that. She wasn’t going to make a fuss or be deliberately rude to Felicity, but she wasn’t about to adopt the girl as her sister just because his father would like so either.

            “Deal” Lance agreed. He couldn’t really expect for it to go any better really.

            Of course then his older daughter had to arrive, in what seemed to be already a bad mood, if the way she smashed the front door, so loud that even Felicity was taken out of her reverie, was any indication.

            Felicity felt like a deer in headlights when a gorgeous brunet with a short tight dress and a drunk walk that instantly made Felicity fell uncomfortable came in.

            “What the fuck, Sara, did you decide to date a goth now?!” Laurel said as she came in the living room and took the scene before her eyes.

            “Laurel, this is Felicity. I brought her home. She will be staying with us for a little while” Lance repeated the explication he had given his younger daughter as he tried to stop himself from yelling at Laurel for coming home drunk before it was even 9p.m.

            “What the hell dad? She is staying with us? What, is this another midlife crisis? Divorcing mom was not enough?” Each word Laurel said would make Felicity feel like a little shock passed through her and why the hell was she still there? She needed to run! “Or is this some secret love child of yours? What, we can’t have our friends over but you can just bring anyone to live with us and we have no saying in it?!”

            “Laurel! That’s enough!” Lance yelled back, surprised that she would go that far “You can bring your friends over, you cannot have your boyfriend sleeping on your room, under my roof! And yes, I am allowed to bring whoever I want home. You are don’t have to like it, but you are not allowed to speak to me like this!”

            “Why not? Because every action you make is just so worthy of respect?” Laurel pushed. “Because- “

            “Because you are drunk” Lance interrupted his daughter “and because I am your father, whether you like it or not! Now either suck up your attitude and have dinner with us or go to your room, but nothing else here is up to discussion”

            “You know what, I’m going out tonight” Laurel said, storming back from the door she had smashed in just minutes before.

            Through the whole thing Felicity had felt frozen. Which was not expected of her. She was used to watching fights. Even watching fights regarding herself. Her parents had made sure of that long ago.

As she watched Laurel leave however she came back to herself. It was clear that Sara wasn’t happy that she was there, even if she had stopped screaming about that, and she would need to create a new word stronger then hate to describe Laurel’s very clear and loud feeling towards the situation. She had no right to remain there.

            She was almost at the door when Quentin’s voice made her stop.

            “Felicity, please… Laurel… she will scream at anything as long as she knows it will annoy me… But stay. Please. I mean it, Felicity, I would really like if you stayed. You came to me for a reason and I think we need a chance to get to know each other. Plus, I already ordered dinner, and there is way too many food for just me and Sara.”

            Forget anything about Felicity coming back to herself. Felicity was evidently beyond out of her mind, because for some reason, that mix of soft voice, pleading, incredibly nice eyes and apparently just the right words, that Felicity wanted to hear so badly, but would never admit, made Felicity forget everything that she learned the hard way through her life, and every warning that the rational part of her brain kept screaming at her, and stayed.


End file.
